13 Sivan 5773
Angel in Charge of Complaints (AICOC): “The Universe Complaint Department is now open, who will be first?”
Chairman of the ‘Palestinian’ delegation: “We, the ‘Palestinian’ people wish to lodge an official complaint against the Israelis. They have stolen our land!!”
AICOC: “Whom did you say you represent, sir?”
Chairman: “The ‘Palestinian’ people of the State of Palestine.”
AICOC: “Sorry, I don’t find you here. According to my records, there is no such people and no such ‘state.’ That being the case, you never had possession of the land in question; therefore, I am unable to register your complaint. Next!”
UN Representative accompanied by a delegation from the EU: “Yes, good morning. I’d like to file a formal complaint against the Israelis. They pay no heed to our demand to cease settlement expansion and refuse to return to the 1948 borders. They show no respect whatever for international law.”
AICOC: “Sir, here we all answer to a Higher Law, which, I must tell you, may differ somewhat from your ‘international’ law. Let us have a look, shall we?”
(Opens a book. To self: “Hmmm, uh huh, yes.”)
(Turning book so the UN Rep can see it.) “Right here,” pointing. ”Bamidbar 33.53 - it says: ‘You shall clear out the Land and settle in it, for I have given you the Land to occupy it.’”
“Now, as to borders…,” flipping pages. “Yes, here it is - Breishit 15.18: ‘To your seed I have given this land, from the river of Egypt until the great river, the Euphrates river.’”
“Whoa, looks like they’re actually only occupying a very small portion of what is actually theirs. If you want my advice, boys, quit while you’re ahead. Next!”
US Ambassador: “We don’t like to complain. Maybe this is not the right department for our issues. Perhaps some type of arbitration is in order.”
AICOC: “State your problem and then I’ll know better how to assist you, sir.”
US Ambassador: “Well, seeing as how our democratic form of government, free-capitalistic economy and pluralistic culture is the best in the world and the envy of all who behold us, we naturally want everyone to be just like us. In fact, we believe in it so much that we have gone completely around the world subverting existing regimes and offering bribes in the guise of ‘aid’ in order to bring the entire world in line with our ‘values.’ But, the Israelis are an intransigent bunch. Some are on our side, but many more are not - mainly the so-called ‘religious’ ones. Something has got to be done about them.”
AICOC: “Alright, then. Here are your options. You can file this as a complaint of non-compliance with previous agreements, although that might be hard to establish considering the characters of those with whom you made previous agreements, Oslo, etc. It’s not clear that they had any right to act on behalf of the nation in this regard, or you could apply for relief with the Department of Justice.”
US Ambassador: “Thanks for your help. I’ll take this back to my boss and see how he would like to proceed.”
AICOC (chuckling to himself): ”I already know how my Boss will want to proceed.”
AICOC (peering over at a group heatedly arguing among themselves in the corner: ”Will there be anyone else?”
A group of Israelis rush up, stumbling over each other, pushing and shoving and arguing over who has the right to speak for the rest. They are made up of prominent Members of Knesset, ambitious military and security officers and even a few ‘rabbis.’ By the sheer force of his amazing presence, Yair Lapid takes charge, saying, ”Since I am the most intelligent, most knowledgeable, most experienced, most beautiful and most likely to become the next Prime Minister, I will speak for us all.”
Lapid: “We most assuredly wish to make a complaint - against the Ultra-Orthodox, those Chareidim and anyone else who thinks and acts as they do. They don’t pay taxes! They don’t serve in the army! They won’t listen to women singing and force them to sit at the back of the bus! They wear black!! We, the tax-paying, army-serving majority who enjoy the ladies and walk bear-headed and are hard-hearted when it comes to prying the yeshiva bochurim from the batei midrash - we demand satisfaction.”
AICOC: “What is it specifically, Mr. Lapid, that your group wants from this department?”
Lapid: “I believe that I speak for the tax-paying, army-serving, etc. etc. majority when I say that we won’t carry the burden of those people any longer.”
Lapid’s group ( in unison, for once): “That’s right! We want them off of our backs and out of our lives - FOR GOOD.”
AICOC: “I’m sure some accommodation can be arranged. Please wait here while I consult my Superior.”
(Agitated whispering all around the Israeli group until the AICOC returns.)
AICOC: It seems that a prior complaint has already been filed by an aggrieved party against you and your cohorts, Mr. Lapid.
AICOC: “Yes, that’s right. The G-d-fearing Jews of Eretz Israel have already lodged a complaint, well, several actually… Here. Here it is right here… numbers 1 through…. Oh my! Let us just summarize it as an attempt to prevent the nation from fulfilling it’s Divine destiny.
A Blog Moderator wrote:
I have been reading your blog for a couple of years and enjoy it very much.
About a year ago I became a moderator on a blog, after joining it I was saddened/shocked to find so many young people my age and younger who were anti-Semitic or misinformed.
This blog has a large following and I felt it was a good way to reach out and dispel some of the rumors and lies about Israel and Judaism.
I am concerned and need some advice on how to approach them, what to say or if I should say anything at all. Is this something I should be worried about? Is this trend normal? As a pro Israel blogger I felt an obligation to say something.
Thank you for your time.
It is so good that you are concerned. Of course you should do something, but the problem is that they will most likely not listen, and the public might even come to dislike you for defending the truth, but still, you have to help.
You should submit articles showing the truth, and warning against following articles/videos/pictures without verifying that they are true. So many times the hateful videos are later proven to be total frauds!
You should publicize everything that you can find that sheds positive light on Israel. For instance, it is a known fact (and you should find a good non-Jewish source other than quoting me), that;
The arabs who live here live longer than in any of the surrounding arab countries.
The arabs in Jerusalem prefer to become Israelis than to give up their citizenship and be Palestinians
The president of the arabs here (abbas) announced that when they have a Palestinian country no Jews will be allowed to live there. If we would say such a thing the world would scream apartheid, and condemn us.
And on and on.
Avoid answering their charges as they are almost always lies, and even if they are factual, they throw them at us only to deflect the charges against them. They want to keep us on the defensive instead of letting the truth be known.
Maybe it would be best to publish these facts one at a time, and then repeat them from time to time, especially when they put out a ridiculous video showing Jews to be foolish. Site sources other than Jewish sources when you post them.
Let your readers know that the problem in Israel with the arabs is not a Jewish/Arab problem. It is a Muslim problem. One out of five people in the world is Muslim, yet four out of five wars in the world are Muslim. Not just this war here in Israel, but in Boston, Canada, Spain, China, India, Turkey, and on and on and on. Ask why is it that twelve percent of the population in France is Muslim, but seventy percent of the jail population is Muslim? Let them know such things as the current list of “FBI Most Wanted Terrorists” contains 32 people. 30 of them are Muslims and two are left-wing liberals.
Here are a few facts that your readers have to hear, and they will have to hear them over and over again. Remember, America forgot 9/11 in just a few years!
The Bible and the Koran both state that Israel is the Land that G-d has given to the Jewish people;
For instance; Koran Suras 5:21 “O my people [Children of Israel], enter the holy land that G-D has decreed for you, and do not rebel, lest you become losers.”
Suras 17:104 “And we said to the Children of Israel afterwards, ‘Go live into this land. When the final prophecy comes to pass, we will summon you all in one group. We shall bring you altogether as mixed crowd.’” (gathered out of various nations).
Hamas Minister Tathi Hammad, March 23, 2012 said, “Who are Palestinians? Palestinians don’t come from Palestine…Brothers, half of the Palestinians are Egyptians and the other half are Saudis.”
“When Jordan attacked Israel in the 6 Day War and lost, they forfeited the land. This has been a historical truth in all wars throughout time. Nowhere in history, has a nefarious act of war and murder been rewarded by returning lost land so that they may try again. Any fool who thinks warmongers should be rewarded is motivated by something evil.”
Good for you D
Hashem bless you to be able to help.
Let me know how things go.
It is expected from someone who is in charge of negotiating to educate for peace and not for incitement. Erekat claims to support the efforts of Secretary of State John Kerry, and at the same time presents a distorted reality which hurts the chances for peace.
The more the Palestinians continue to fertilize the soil with hatred toward Israel, the smaller the chances that the seeds of peace in the Middle East will sprout roots."
Ron Prosor - Israel’s ambassador to the United Nations